Why Relationships Fail
Portions of the content taken from Intentional Relationships For Singles, Chapter 2: Why Relationships Fail, Kris Swiatocho and Dan Houk
Everyone has relationships that didn’t work out the way they had hoped. It’s a part of life. But, often, you don’t take the time to understand why they failed. By looking at how relationships fail, you can learn to minimize your mistakes or adjust your expectations for future friendships. In the beginning, though, relationships didn’t start off this way.
“Then God said, ‘Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.’ So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.“ – Genesis 1:26-27 (NIV)
God created you with the distinct purpose of a relationship—first with your Creator, then with each other. However, this idyllic beginning was short-lived. A reading of Genesis 3 reveals that great expectations ended in dismal failure, with consequences we still feel today.
What Happened?
Have you ever had a relationship that just seemed right from the beginning? We’re not talking only about a dating relationship but also about any friendship that clicked. You may know many of the reasons you got along so well, but chances are you didn’t understand all of them. Not only does God see relationships as important, but they also benefit you greatly. We gain so many benefits from a relationship that we don’t even recognize them all. Good relationships yield better physical and mental health, greater happiness, deeper love, greater empathy, improved creativity, and longer life, to name a few. Healthy relationships make us better versions of ourselves. This is why being intentional about them is so important.
Since we are designed for relationships by our Creator, it stands to reason that the One who wrote the operator’s manual can share His wisdom with you on what an intentional relationship should look like.
Why do you have so many struggles in your relationships, especially with those closest to you?
To understand this, we have to look at one reason your relationships fail. What often starts off so well inevitably runs into struggles. In Chapter 2 of Intentional Relationships for Singles, we delve into four relational challenges, and we are certain you will resonate with some of these in your relationships with your family, friends, acquaintances, workmates, or someone you are dating or engaged to. So, to give you a glimpse into why our relationships fail, we will start with a big one: SIN
Sin really is at the core of all of our problems in relationships. We will identify this more specifically as we look at sin in our own lives. The first sin is described in Genesis 3. Adam and Eve decided to take the direction they thought was best, desiring to be in control and to have God’s power and knowledge. This encapsulates what sin is. It is being self-focused. Even your mistakes can result from missing something you should have seen because your focus was elsewhere. These common sins can have the biggest consequences in our relationships:
• Idolatry: This is listed as the first commandment for a reason. Most people struggle greatly with it.
Making relationships your top priority is idolatry since God should occupy that space.
• Betrayal: Sharing what was supposed to be kept confidential or cheating in an exclusive relationship are examples of betrayal.
• Envy: You are not satisfied with what God has provided you, and you want what others have.
• Lust: You focus on something that excites you. It might be a person, a position, or a fantasy object.
• Pride: You are in control, and you know better than God.
• Selfishness: It’s all about you.
“If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.“ – 1 John 1:8-10 (ESV)
To learn more about this topic, order your copy of Intentional Relationships for Singles' 12-week study today.
Everyone has relationships that didn’t work out the way they had hoped. It’s a part of life. But, often, you don’t take the time to understand why they failed. By looking at how relationships fail, you can learn to minimize your mistakes or adjust your expectations for future friendships. In the beginning, though, relationships didn’t start off this way.
“Then God said, ‘Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.’ So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.“ – Genesis 1:26-27 (NIV)
God created you with the distinct purpose of a relationship—first with your Creator, then with each other. However, this idyllic beginning was short-lived. A reading of Genesis 3 reveals that great expectations ended in dismal failure, with consequences we still feel today.
What Happened?
Have you ever had a relationship that just seemed right from the beginning? We’re not talking only about a dating relationship but also about any friendship that clicked. You may know many of the reasons you got along so well, but chances are you didn’t understand all of them. Not only does God see relationships as important, but they also benefit you greatly. We gain so many benefits from a relationship that we don’t even recognize them all. Good relationships yield better physical and mental health, greater happiness, deeper love, greater empathy, improved creativity, and longer life, to name a few. Healthy relationships make us better versions of ourselves. This is why being intentional about them is so important.
Since we are designed for relationships by our Creator, it stands to reason that the One who wrote the operator’s manual can share His wisdom with you on what an intentional relationship should look like.
Why do you have so many struggles in your relationships, especially with those closest to you?
To understand this, we have to look at one reason your relationships fail. What often starts off so well inevitably runs into struggles. In Chapter 2 of Intentional Relationships for Singles, we delve into four relational challenges, and we are certain you will resonate with some of these in your relationships with your family, friends, acquaintances, workmates, or someone you are dating or engaged to. So, to give you a glimpse into why our relationships fail, we will start with a big one: SIN
Sin really is at the core of all of our problems in relationships. We will identify this more specifically as we look at sin in our own lives. The first sin is described in Genesis 3. Adam and Eve decided to take the direction they thought was best, desiring to be in control and to have God’s power and knowledge. This encapsulates what sin is. It is being self-focused. Even your mistakes can result from missing something you should have seen because your focus was elsewhere. These common sins can have the biggest consequences in our relationships:
• Idolatry: This is listed as the first commandment for a reason. Most people struggle greatly with it.
Making relationships your top priority is idolatry since God should occupy that space.
• Betrayal: Sharing what was supposed to be kept confidential or cheating in an exclusive relationship are examples of betrayal.
• Envy: You are not satisfied with what God has provided you, and you want what others have.
• Lust: You focus on something that excites you. It might be a person, a position, or a fantasy object.
• Pride: You are in control, and you know better than God.
• Selfishness: It’s all about you.
“If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.“ – 1 John 1:8-10 (ESV)
To learn more about this topic, order your copy of Intentional Relationships for Singles' 12-week study today.
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