Do Bubbles Really Help?
by Kris Swiatocho
QUESTION: I become upset very easily. For the most part, I am even-tempered and can handle most of life’s stresses. However, when I find myself stuck in traffic, waiting a long time on the phone with customer service, or in line at the store checkout, or when I haven’t had enough sleep, even the most minor things can set me off. Then, I embarrass myself, and my witness crumbles. I know this has affected my friendships and my dating life as well. What is wrong with me, and why can’t I control it?
Well, first of all, everyone experiences stress at some point and loses their temper. However, these incidents tend to occur less frequently as we grow in our faith and draw closer to the Lord. You will start to recognize your trigger points—those situations that usually provoke your reactions. For example, if you’re tired or haven’t had much sleep, it's wise to avoid making significant decisions at that time. You might find it helpful to schedule calls that require pressing multiple buttons to reach an agent during periods when you’re less likely to feel stressed, or you could plan your time in advance to accommodate waiting in line. When you're at the store, consider doing something while waiting in line, like striking up a conversation with those around you. As for traffic, I like to blow bubbles out of my car window; it really alleviates the stress of waiting, and everyone enjoys and loves a bubble.
Years ago, I stopped at Shake and Steak™ while traveling through Kentucky. They have the best string French fries! I ordered a hamburger with everything except onions because I'm allergic. After driving about 10 miles, I took a huge bite of my delicious burger, only to realize it had onions on it. I immediately became furious. I spat out the burger and frantically searched for my receipt so I could call the restaurant to complain. I explained to the manager that, while I wouldn’t die from it, I would definitely break out in hives. I couldn’t believe they had put onions on my burger after I specifically told them not to. The manager asked me to bring it back for a replacement, but I was frustrated, saying, “I’m 10 miles down the road! Can’t I just go to a different location?” He explained that each franchise is separate, and I raised my voice, saying, “Never mind!” I rolled down my passenger window to throw the burger out—with the wrapper—but it missed the window and slowly slid down the inside of my car. Now, I had to deal with ketchup and mustard staining the interior and the smell of onions for the next several hours.
So, what’s the point of this story? It illustrates my struggle in various areas of life. If I had simply checked the burger before leaving the restaurant, I could have avoided the incident altogether. I would have enjoyed a delicious burger without any stress or anger, and my car would have stayed clean. So why did this upset me so much?
1. I was angry with myself for not checking the burger. God gives us wisdom, and we need to use it.
2. This inconvenience disrupted my schedule. I could have easily turned back if I had allowed more time and planned better.
3. I wanted to be in control. I expected the manager to care for me the way I wanted —an entitled attitude—not a reflection of the fruits of the Spirit. While the manager offered to resolve the situation, I wanted more, though I’m unsure what that could have been.
4. I ended up with a mess of ketchup and mustard, a reminder of my behavior. Not only did I lose my witness with the manager, but I also hurt my relationship with the Lord. It was just a burger in the grand scheme of things, but my need for control turned it into something much more significant.
Proverbs 25:28 states, " A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls. "
Returning to your question, it really comes down to surrendering every part of your life to God. It involves identifying the areas that cause stress, peeling back the layers, and uncovering the issue's root. It was never really about my hamburger or Steak and Shake™; it was about me. I assure you that as you become more self-aware over time, plan better, breathe, pray, and take a step back, you will find yourself losing your temper less often and might even discover humor in the situation. At that moment, I wasn’t laughing, but today, I can easily see the humor in it.
Romans 12:2 Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
Order your copy of Intentional Relationships for Singles' 12-week Bible study to learn more. This study covers topics on why our relationships fail, identity, gender differences, boundaries, conflict, blind spots, friendship (in all our relationships—family, work, church, neighbors, friends), but also intentional friendship, including red, yellow, and green flags, intentional dating, and engagement.
QUESTION: I become upset very easily. For the most part, I am even-tempered and can handle most of life’s stresses. However, when I find myself stuck in traffic, waiting a long time on the phone with customer service, or in line at the store checkout, or when I haven’t had enough sleep, even the most minor things can set me off. Then, I embarrass myself, and my witness crumbles. I know this has affected my friendships and my dating life as well. What is wrong with me, and why can’t I control it?
Well, first of all, everyone experiences stress at some point and loses their temper. However, these incidents tend to occur less frequently as we grow in our faith and draw closer to the Lord. You will start to recognize your trigger points—those situations that usually provoke your reactions. For example, if you’re tired or haven’t had much sleep, it's wise to avoid making significant decisions at that time. You might find it helpful to schedule calls that require pressing multiple buttons to reach an agent during periods when you’re less likely to feel stressed, or you could plan your time in advance to accommodate waiting in line. When you're at the store, consider doing something while waiting in line, like striking up a conversation with those around you. As for traffic, I like to blow bubbles out of my car window; it really alleviates the stress of waiting, and everyone enjoys and loves a bubble.
Years ago, I stopped at Shake and Steak™ while traveling through Kentucky. They have the best string French fries! I ordered a hamburger with everything except onions because I'm allergic. After driving about 10 miles, I took a huge bite of my delicious burger, only to realize it had onions on it. I immediately became furious. I spat out the burger and frantically searched for my receipt so I could call the restaurant to complain. I explained to the manager that, while I wouldn’t die from it, I would definitely break out in hives. I couldn’t believe they had put onions on my burger after I specifically told them not to. The manager asked me to bring it back for a replacement, but I was frustrated, saying, “I’m 10 miles down the road! Can’t I just go to a different location?” He explained that each franchise is separate, and I raised my voice, saying, “Never mind!” I rolled down my passenger window to throw the burger out—with the wrapper—but it missed the window and slowly slid down the inside of my car. Now, I had to deal with ketchup and mustard staining the interior and the smell of onions for the next several hours.
So, what’s the point of this story? It illustrates my struggle in various areas of life. If I had simply checked the burger before leaving the restaurant, I could have avoided the incident altogether. I would have enjoyed a delicious burger without any stress or anger, and my car would have stayed clean. So why did this upset me so much?
1. I was angry with myself for not checking the burger. God gives us wisdom, and we need to use it.
2. This inconvenience disrupted my schedule. I could have easily turned back if I had allowed more time and planned better.
3. I wanted to be in control. I expected the manager to care for me the way I wanted —an entitled attitude—not a reflection of the fruits of the Spirit. While the manager offered to resolve the situation, I wanted more, though I’m unsure what that could have been.
4. I ended up with a mess of ketchup and mustard, a reminder of my behavior. Not only did I lose my witness with the manager, but I also hurt my relationship with the Lord. It was just a burger in the grand scheme of things, but my need for control turned it into something much more significant.
Proverbs 25:28 states, " A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls. "
Returning to your question, it really comes down to surrendering every part of your life to God. It involves identifying the areas that cause stress, peeling back the layers, and uncovering the issue's root. It was never really about my hamburger or Steak and Shake™; it was about me. I assure you that as you become more self-aware over time, plan better, breathe, pray, and take a step back, you will find yourself losing your temper less often and might even discover humor in the situation. At that moment, I wasn’t laughing, but today, I can easily see the humor in it.
Romans 12:2 Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
Order your copy of Intentional Relationships for Singles' 12-week Bible study to learn more. This study covers topics on why our relationships fail, identity, gender differences, boundaries, conflict, blind spots, friendship (in all our relationships—family, work, church, neighbors, friends), but also intentional friendship, including red, yellow, and green flags, intentional dating, and engagement.
|
|
|